Long pose in progress

This drawing feels like a complete disaster. I don't know what's happening, but I feel like I'm losing whatever natural inclination for drawing I ever had. I think if I had walked in on the first day I showed up here and just followed my own intuition, I would have come up with something more honest, more sincere, and likely more interesting than what I have here. 

I'm going to keep trying to rally. I will. I just feel like I'm drowning in a sea of information and I'm having a hard time finding something solid to hold onto. It's not that I don't want to be hearing the information. It has all helped me tremendously and I'm doing the best I can to integrate it all, but I just need to somehow find my center again.

When I was in 10th grade we read Lord of the Flies, which is just a disgusting book. I really hated it. We had to write a book report and I think we submitted our topic/argument before the paper. My teacher was skeptical about my thesis because it was just too complex and would be difficult to tie together. But I spent hours toiling over that paper and you had better believe I argued it well. And I received the highest grade on a paper this teacher had ever given.

So how can I find that place of determination and drive that digs down deep and pulls all my ideas into one coherent argument? I care about this so much more than anything I had to say about Lord of the Flies. I know there's no easy way to reign it all in, but I just have to find that place.