“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?” ― Erin Hanson I almost distinctly remember the time that I decided I just could not be an artist. It was about 12 years ago on a cold and unbelievably-windy November day in Chicago. I was 18, and I had spent an entire day wandering the galleries at the Art Institute of Chicago's art museum. It was the best day, really. I remember standing in front of beautiful painting after beautiful painting, just staring at brushstrokes--I had never seen real paintings up close like that before, and I could feel them--I could see the artist at work there, and it was almost mind-blowing. I was completely overwhelmed. I wanted to soak it all in. I wanted to be a part of it. But there was this pervasive thought that kept running through my mind: "I could never do this." I wonder, now, why that thought--"I could never do ...
5x7, water mixable oil on linen panel, 10/23/15 The clouds have been unbelievable lately here in Utah--so big and billowy. Whenever I go outside, I have this urge to paint! But I'm not a landscape painter (yet)... not that I wouldn't like to be. I'd like to be able to paint whatever I want :) However, I used to have this idea that I just couldn't paint landscapes (after a couple of miserable failed attempts). But now I'm thinking, "Why not?" I'm sure I can learn how with some practice, and I do want to. I'm finding lately (especially since starting this blog and recording some of my thoughts as I go along), that I have this constant inner dialogue regarding my art. There's always a voice saying "you're not any good and you might as well not bother." I don't like that voice. And since I'm more aware of it, I'm becoming more effective and pushing it away. Who really cares if I'm not any good anyway? No on...
I went out to try a little plein air painting yesterday, but the forces of nature were not in my favor (wind, sun, rain, you name it--I didn't come up with anything worth sharing--and that's saying something, since usually I'm not one to gloss over my painting fails--I wiped the board off before even packing up, ha). So, here we are back with the Bargues. Doing these is feeling a little bit like a security blanket these days ;) Below is my five-minute start. I was fairly satisfied with it (it was only my 5th or so time starting this same pose and my paper had just about had it ;) so I went ahead and finished the drawing up a bit. It's not perfection, but it's moving in the right direction. Now, to apply the same process to drawing from life... :)
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